Funny Quotes about Keeping Your Mouth Shut

I can keep my mouth shut. It’s the door to all my secrets.

Keeping your mouth shut is like having a silent alarm clock for your brain.

If I kept my mouth shut half as often as I open it, I might actually learn something.

I have a PhD in keeping my mouth shut during awkward situations.

Keeping your mouth shut is the best way to avoid foot-in-mouth disease.

My superpower is keeping my mouth shut when I really want to say something sarcastic.

I don’t always keep my mouth shut, but when I do, it’s usually because pizza is involved.

The key to a successful relationship is keeping your mouth shut during arguments…and knowing when to bring out the popcorn.

Sometimes the best response is just keeping your mouth shut and putting on your sunglasses.

I’ve learned that keeping your mouth shut is much more effective than sticking your foot in it.

In a world full of talkers, those who can keep their mouth shut are the real superheroes.

Keeping your mouth shut is like a workout for your facial muscles.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to keep my mouth shut about it.

If I had a dollar for every time I kept my mouth shut, I’d have enough money to buy a gag gift for the next person who asks me to keep my mouth shut.

Keeping your mouth shut can sometimes feel like a punishment, until you realize all the drama you’re avoiding.

My therapist says I have a natural talent for keeping my mouth shut. I guess that’s why I have to pay her.

Funny Quotes about Keeping Your Mouth Shut part 2

Keeping your mouth shut is like a cloak of invisibility for your thoughts.

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut and let your eyebrows do the talking.

I’ve mastered the art of keeping my mouth shut…unless there’s chocolate involved.

Keeping your mouth shut is like an applause for your sanity.

Pro tip: keeping your mouth shut can save you from saying something you’ll regret…or something really funny.

I tried keeping my mouth shut once, but my sarcasm found another way out.

Keeping your mouth shut is the secret ingredient to being a good secret-keeper.

I’ve discovered the secret to a long life: keeping your mouth shut and eating plenty of ice cream.

If silence is golden, then my mouth is solid gold.

I’m not a mind reader, but I can keep my mouth shut and pretend to be one.

Sometimes the loudest statement you can make is by keeping your mouth shut.

I don’t always keep my mouth shut, but when I do, it’s usually because I’m eating.

It’s amazing how much you can learn by keeping your mouth shut and listening.

Keeping your mouth shut is like having your own personal mute button for other people’s nonsense.

I may not always keep my mouth shut, but at least I have a good filter for sarcasm.

Learn to keep your mouth shut and you’ll become the master of verbal telepathy.

Keeping your mouth shut: the underrated art of self-preservation.

A secret is only safe with me if it involves chocolate…and I’ve had plenty.

I can keep a secret like a giraffe can balance a bowling ball on its nose.

Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the funniest punchline of all.

Silence may be golden, but sarcasm is my secret weapon.

When your mouth is shut, your true thoughts can do a happy dance inside your head.

The key to good communication is knowing when to keep your mouth shut and let your eyebrows do the talking.

My brain is a vault of unsaid thoughts, and apparently, it’s also a very messy vault.

I’m fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and keeping my mouth shut.

Keeping your mouth shut is like pressing pause on a hyperactive tongue.

The journey to self-discovery begins with a single step. And often, that step is keeping your mouth shut.

The only thing stronger than my sarcasm is my ability to keep my mouth shut when necessary.

When life gives you lemons, keeping your mouth shut is the best way to avoid a sour taste.