Funny Letter Board Quotes

Mondays are canceled. Go back to bed.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

Procaffeinating: The tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee.

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need chocolate.

If life gives you lemons, add vodka and make a party.

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

My mind is like my internet browser, 19 tabs are open.

I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a magician.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

Not all girls are made of sugar and spice, some are made of sarcasm and wine.

I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.

I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value.

I prefer my puns intended.

If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Friday is my second favorite F-word.

I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.

I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

The best things in life are free, or expensive with 50% off.

I took a personality test, and it came back negative.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.

I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.

I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a therapist.

I lost my mind. Can’t find it. If found, please don’t return.

If I were a superhero, my superpower would be the ability to nap anywhere.

Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.

I don’t sweat, I sparkle.

My life is a constant battle between wanting dessert and wanting to fit into my pants.

Burgers: the ultimate moral dilemma.

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are under construction.

Running late is my cardio.

I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

I’m not diffiCult, I’m diffiQue.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.

I’m not antisocial; I’m just selectively social.