Funny Kitchen Sayings

I don’t need an alarm clock in the morning, the smell of bacon is my wake-up call!

I like cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.

I’m so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I followed a recipe today, it was my version of ‘The Hunger Games’.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I have a kitchen because it came with the house. Otherwise, I would never be here.

I can’t cook, but I can toast.

I have a love-hate relationship with my oven. We’re always on, but sometimes it burns me.

I don’t need hugs, I need someone who can cook.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.

Cooking rule #1: If at first, you don’t succeed, order takeout.

The worst thing about cooking is getting lipstick marks on your Champagne.

I’m too glam to give a damn about my cooking skills.

The only thing I’ve ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess.

My favorite part of cooking is pretending to know what I’m doing.

I’m not a chef, I’m an artist. And my palette is made of bacon and cheese.

I have a secret ingredient for all my dishes: extra love and a dash of sarcasm.

My cooking style is best described as ‘accidentally gourmet’.

Funny Kitchen Sayings part 2

I like my food spicy, just like my personality.

I’m not a chef, I’m a food therapist. I fix my emotional problems with cake.

Cooking: where anything is possible, as long as you’re not too attached to the end result.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.

My cooking skills are like a rollercoaster: sometimes they’re up, sometimes they’re burnt.

I don’t need a recipe, I just need a glass of wine and some courage.

In my kitchen, calories don’t count.

The best things in life are sweet: chocolate, love, and caramelized onions.

I’m not a chef, I’m a magician. I whip up meals out of thin air.

I’m not a chef, I’m a food artist. My canvas is a plate and my brushes are spatulas.

I’m not a chef, I just play one on TV.

The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. That’s why I have plenty of snacks.

I’m a master of the microwave arts.

I burn calories, so I can eat more dessert.

I’m so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon, or not at all.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Cooking is like magic, you mix a bunch of ingredients together and voilà, you have a meal.

If we’re what we eat, I’m a snack.

Cooking is my therapy, food is my medicine, and eating is my happy place.

I’m not a chef, I’m a kitchen superhero. My secret power is turning leftovers into a feast.

I like cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.

Cooking is my art, the kitchen is my canvas, and food is my masterpiece.

I don’t need a recipe, I just need a pinch of salt and a whole lot of confidence.

Cooking is like art, every dish is a masterpiece, even if it’s just a grilled cheese sandwich.