Funny Health Quotes

I tried to be healthy once, but then I realized pizza exists.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch – I call it lunch.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

My goal for today is to move just enough so people don’t start posting RIP on my Facebook photos.

I don’t need a personal trainer. I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy food out of my hand.

My swimsuit told me to go to the gym, but my sweatpants were like, ‘Nah, girl, you’re good.’

If exercising and eating a healthy diet take up too much of your time, just remember, you’ll have plenty of time for doctors and hospitals later on.

I’m not a jogger. I’m a runner. Running from my problems, running late, running out of patience – you name it.

I’m not saying I’m superhuman, but so far, I haven’t died.

I used to have abs. Now, I have abs-olutely no motivation.

I don’t need a diet. I need fast metabolism and a chef who cooks low-calorie food that tastes like pizza.

My body is not a temple, it’s a amusement park. Enjoy the ride!

I don’t exercise because I hate my body. I exercise because I love my body and don’t want it to start a rebellion.

Fall in love with taking care of yourself – body, mind, and pizza.

Funny Health Quotes part 2

I’m not saying I’m overweight, but I’m definitely undertall for my weight.

I’m exercising my right to eat whatever I want.

I workout because I really, really, really like dessert.

Never trust a skinny chef or a personal trainer who hates pizza.

The only exercise I get is running late.

Is it just me, or does air taste better after a workout?

I’m not fat, I’m easier to see.

I don’t need hair products. I burn enough calories trying to brush my hair.

My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.

My idea of a six-pack is a variety of beer in the fridge.

If running late counted as a workout, I’d be in great shape.

I’m not lazy, I’m just saving energy for a future emergency.

I’m not a snack, I’m the whole picnic.

I get plenty of exercise pushing my luck.

Exercise? I thought you said ‘extra fries’.

If there was an award for laziness, I’d probably send somebody to pick it up for me.

My cardio routine consists of running away from my responsibilities.

I’m not a gym rat, I’m more of a gym bunny – I hop in every once in a while.

Life is short. Eat the donut.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m obtaining insulation for the winter!

I always carry a knife in my bag – you know, just in case there’s cake.

I ran once. It was horrible. I lost 10 seconds of my life.

I don’t exercise because I hate my body. I exercise because I love my body and don’t want it to stage a revolt.

If exercising was easy, it would be called ‘sitting’.

I don’t run. If you ever see me running, you should start running too, because something is definitely chasing me.

I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding, I drink wine in yoga pants.

I’m not a jogger. I’m a runner. Running from my responsibilities, running late – you name it.

I ran a marathon once. Okay, fine, I watched one on TV.

I don’t lift weights. I lift pizzas to my mouth.