Why did Voldemort go to the optometrist? Because he couldn’t see himself becoming the Dark Lord without glasses!
I asked Dobby how he stays in shape, and he said it’s all about Quidditch and a healthy diet of socks!
If Ron Weasley was a broom, he’d definitely be a Cleansweep 7 – a little old-fashioned, but always reliable!
Why did Hermione bring a ladder to potions class? Because she heard the drinks were on a high shelf!
I heard that Snape invented a new spell – it turns enemies into slugs. They say it’s his way of ‘getting under their skin’!
Why did Harry Potter take up carpentry? Because he’s always been good at handling wands!
Why did Fred and George break into Gringotts? They heard there were some ‘galleons’ to be made!
If I had a Galleon for every time Ron Weasley made me laugh, I’d be a very rich Muggle!
They say that when Voldemort was a child, his Hogwarts Acceptance letter was just a blank piece of paper – he really had to work for that Dark Arts education!
Why did Professor Snape bring a ladder to the Quidditch match? So he could be the ‘top’ fan in the stands!
Did you know that Harry Potter is actually a renowned potion maker? His signature spell is called ‘Expel-liver-mus’.
Why did Hermione start a band? Because she wanted to try her ‘hand’ at wizard rock!
Why did Harry Potter bring a broom to Potions class? Because he heard Snape was a ‘sweepheart’!
Funny Harry Potter Quotes part 2
What do you call a depot for magical transportation? A Diagon Alley!
Why did Professor Snape start a vegetable garden? Because he wanted to grow ‘mandrakes’ that would scream ‘eat me’ instead of ‘pull me’!
Why did Ron Weasley send his homework through the Floo Network? To ‘charm’ his professor into thinking he finished it!
Instead of chocolate frogs, Harry Potter should’ve had a chocolate owl – they always seem to ‘deliver’!
If Hogwarts had a Quidditch team for owls, do you think they’d have a ‘hootball’?
Why did Hagrid become a baker? Because he always had a ‘knack’ for making ‘half-baked’ plans!
Why did Ron Weasley start a podcast? Because he wanted to see if ‘potterspeak’ would be a hit!
If Harry Potter went into politics, his slogan would be: ‘Vote Harry – the Boy Who Lived, and Now Wants to Lead’!
Why did Dobby become a tour guide? Because he always knew how to ‘butter up’ his visitors!
What did Draco Malfoy say when he found out his ancestors were Muggles? ‘You mean I have some ‘sorintegration’ in my bloodline?!
Why did Fred and George Weasley start a comedy club? Because they believed in the power of ‘wit-er-than-you’ humor!
Why did Hermione become an artist? Because she loves using her ‘brush’ to ‘enchant’ her canvas!
What do you call a wizard who can’t use magic? A Wiz-less!
Why did Harry Potter try out for the Hogwarts choir? Because he wanted to be a ‘choirpotter’!
Why did Ron Weasley become a personal trainer? Because he knows how to ‘spell’ motivation!
What do you call a magical plant that tells jokes? A ‘Pun-sieve’!
Why did Fred and George start a joke shop? Because they wanted to bring some ‘lighthearted’ mischief to the wizarding world!
Why did Hagrid open a pet store? Because he believed everyone needs a ‘haggle’ buddy!
Why did Professor Flitwick start a surfing club? Because he wanted to teach the students how to ‘ride’ the waves of magic!
Why did Draco Malfoy start a rock band? Because he wanted to be a ‘narcissa-rock-star’!
What do you call Draco Malfoy in the winter? A ‘brisk Slytherin’!
Why did Luna Lovegood become a travel agent? Because she always knows the ‘daydream’ destinations!
Why did Professor McGonagall become a dance instructor? Because she knows how to ‘waltz’ her way through Transfiguration!
What do you call a Hufflepuff who’s also a stand-up comedian? The ‘badger of laughs’!
Why did Neville Longbottom become a gardener? Because he loves finding ‘plant-y’ of reasons to appreciate nature!
What do you call a potion that gives you a temporary British accent? A ‘Faux-ritish’ brew!
Why did Harry Potter open a bakery? Because he wanted to make ‘history’ with his special wand-made pastries!
Why did Fred and George start a hair salon? Because they wanted to ‘curse’ people with fabulous hair, of course!
What do you call a Quidditch player who’s also a comedian? A ‘jester in the field’!
Why did Hermione become a stand-up comedian? Because she knows how to ‘spellbound’ an audience with her clever jokes!
What do you call a wizard who’s also a detective? A ‘wizarding investigator’!
Why did Luna Lovegood become an astronomer? Because she loves ‘dancing’ with the stars, no matter how unique they may be!
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