Funny Gambling Quotes

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

You can’t beat a good poker face – unless it’s running mascara.

In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his.

The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

The most important thing about money is that it makes you feel comfortable.

Money isn’t everything… unless you’re playing Monopoly.

The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle a losing streak.

I don’t gamble, I invest in opportunities to win.

The lottery: a tax on people who are really bad at math.

The next best thing to gambling and winning is gambling and losing.

If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.

Gambling has transformed from an activity to a lifestyle for many individuals.

Money won is always sweeter than money earned.

If there weren’t luck involved, I would always win.

The house always wins, but so does love and laughter.

When in doubt, bet on yourself.

A dollar a game is just money, but a dollar from each game can add up to a lot of money.

Gambling is not a vice, it’s an expression of our humanness.

I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Gambling is a family tradition. If your family is a pack of wolves.

Gambling is like life, you always have to take a calculated risk.

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and when to call it quits.

I don’t have a gambling problem, I have a competition problem.

Don’t gamble with your future, invest in it.

Gambling is a way of life, a state of mind, an opportunity for adventure.

Gambling is not about how well you play the games, it’s really about how well you handle your money.

Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don’t let yourself believe it will happen to you.

The best way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

If you’re going to gamble, do it in style.

The only way to win at gambling is to be the house.

Gambling is a tax on stupidity, but you only have to pay if you’re dumb enough to play.

Congratulations, you just won the participation trophy of life.

Life is a game, and gambling is one way to play it.

Gambling is like a roller coaster ride, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down, but you always come back for more.

In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all.

Life is a gamble, so roll the dice and take your chances.

Gambling: the sure way of getting nothing for something.

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