Funny Dolly Parton Quotes

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. But if you want the rhinestones, you gotta put up with the glue.

I’m not a smart blonde. I’m a rich blonde.

It’s hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.

I’ve always said, ‘If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.’ And the best way to weather a storm is with a big hat and a good pair of boots.

I’m not the kind of girl who can ever be satisfied with just one man. I need at least three or four.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Honey, I don’t use Botox. I use grow-tox. It’s called GROWing old GRACEfully.

They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, I’ve always had a thing for buffet lines.

I may be small on the outside, but I’m ginormous on the inside.

I love being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants.

I’m not just a country girl. I’m a country girl with a closet full of sequins and a heart full of sass.

Funny Dolly Parton Quotes part 2

I never leave a restaurant until the check is signed, sealed, and delivered. Just like my love letters.

If you’re going through hell, just keep on going. Eventually, you’ll run out of hairspray.

I once told my husband, ‘Honey, if you want a chance in heaven, you better be nice to me on earth.’

I don’t need an alarm clock to wake me up in the morning. I have a rooster named Dollywood.

I love the holidays, but sometimes the only gift I want is a good hair day.

If you want to see a real-life Cinderella, come to Dollywood. Just watch out for pumpkin carriages.

I love Dollywood because it’s the only place in the world where I can get away with wearing a sparkly gown and cowboy boots.

I’ve learned that it’s not the size of the hair, but the strength of the teasing that matters.

I’m not just a country girl. I’m a country girl who can sing circles around most city folks.

I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I need a knight who can change a tire and tell a good joke.

I may be small, but I’m mighty. Just like a chihuahua in a rhinestone jacket.

I’ve always said, ‘If you want the perfect body, don’t worry about losing weight. Just find the perfect mirror.’

I don’t need a GPS to find my way. I just follow the smell of fried chicken and I’m there.

I don’t cry over spilled milk. I cry over spilled mascara.

I don’t need a gym membership. I get my exercise by running to the fridge during commercial breaks.

I’m not a regular grandma. I’m a grandma with a platinum record and a killer performance on stage.

I don’t need a prince charming. I need a man who can keep up with my high heels and even higher hair.

I may be a small-town girl, but my dreams are as big as the sequins on my jacket.

I don’t need a superpower. I have big hair, a sparkly dress, and a smile that can brighten up any room.

I don’t need a crystal ball to see the future. I just look in the mirror and see a lifetime of fabulousness.

I’m not just a singer. I’m a singer with a sense of humor. And trust me, it takes a lot of humor to look this good in a wig.

I don’t care what people say about me. As long as they’re saying something, it means I’m still relevant.

Who needs a crown when you have a perfectly teased head of hair?

I don’t need a fancy car. I just need a car that can fit all my wigs and false eyelashes.

I don’t believe in luck. I believe in rhinestones and hairspray.

I don’t need a personal trainer. I have a stage that’s as big as my dreams.

I’m not a regular doll. I’m a doll with a whole lot of soul and a whole lot of heart.

I don’t need a red carpet to feel like a star. I just need a good pair of cowboy boots and a stage to shine on.

I don’t believe in aging gracefully. I believe in aging fabulously and with a lot of sequins.

Honey, I’m not too old to party. I’m just old enough to know how to party like a boss.

I don’t need a fancy mansion. I just need a big backyard where I can host my own music festival.