Funny Dog Quotes

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend never owned a dog.

A dog will always be the best therapist money can’t buy.

I asked my dog what he thought about the human race, and he replied, ‘They’re too obsessed with selfies.’

Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.

My dog’s favorite hobby is stealing socks. He’s the ultimate sock-er thief.

The only time a dog will slow down is when it sees food approaching.

My dog thinks he’s people. I think he’s crazy.

My dog has a PhD in cuteness.

If my dog could talk, he would probably ask for royalty payments for being so photogenic.

The best thing about dogs is that they never judge you for eating a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting.

There’s a reason why ‘dog’ spelled backward is ‘god’ – they truly are our divine companions.

My dog has a secret stash of treats strategically hidden throughout the house. He’s the original snack mastermind.

My dog’s life motto is ‘live, love, fetch.’

Dogs have a unique ability to turn any ordinary day into a ‘pawsome’ adventure.

I like big mutts and I cannot lie.

Dogs are the only beings on this planet who are always excited to see you – even if you just went to the bathroom.

I don’t need an alarm clock – my dog is my official wake-up service.

Funny Dog Quotes part 2

My dog’s sense of humor is as sly as a fox… terrier.

I’m convinced that my dog is secretly training to be an Olympic synchronized swimmer every time he jumps into the pool.

Dogs are the ultimate wingmen – they attract more attention than a hot date.

When life gets you down, just look at pictures of dogs wearing sunglasses. It’s guaranteed to make you smile.

My dog taught me the true meaning of ‘unconditional love’ – and the fact that he always wants belly rubs.

Dogs and toddlers have a lot in common – they both enjoy making a mess and are always ready to play.

Dogs don’t need a fancy sports car to make them happy – a car ride with the windows down is pure bliss.

I hope to be as good of a person as my dog thinks I am.

My dog is the master of the ‘puppy dog eyes’ technique. Resistance is futile.

The best therapist has fur and four legs.

Who needs friends when you have a dog who thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bacon?

Dogs have an uncanny ability to sniff out the most embarrassing moments of your life and then act like nothing happened.

If my dog could talk, he would probably ask if we could skip our daily walk, and go straight to the treat part.

I once asked my dog what he thought about politics, and he replied, ‘I’d rather chase my tail.’

My dog is living proof that happiness is a warm snuggle.

Dogs are the only beings who genuinely believe in ‘love at first sniff.’

Life’s too short to not have a dog.

My dog’s theory on life is simple – if in doubt, wag your tail.

A dog’s idea of a perfect day is a never-ending game of fetch and an unlimited supply of treats.

My dog’s favorite hobby is digging holes in the backyard. He’s a world-class archaeologist in training.

I asked my dog if he thought I should get a new haircut, and he replied, ‘Only if it involves a treat afterward.’

If my dog had opposable thumbs, I’m pretty sure he would be a world champion thumb wrestler.

Dogs are living proof that unconditional love can come in the form of floppy ears and a wagging tail.

My dog thinks he’s a superhero. He even has a ‘cape’ made from a bath towel.

I’m convinced that my dog secretly moonlights as a stand-up comedian – his antics always leave me in stitches.

Whenever I’m feeling down, my dog employs his secret weapon – his adorable puppy eyes – to cheer me up.

My dog is a master of the guilt trip technique – one sad look and I’m putty in his paws.

Dogs have a way of making you feel like the most special person in the world – even when you just stepped on their tail.