Funny Dish Towel Sayings

• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I have a kitchen because it came with the house.
• My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
• I only have a kitchen because it’s where the fridge is.
• The secret ingredient is always cheese.
• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
• I don’t always cook, but when I do, I prefer to be alone.
• Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.
• Wine not?
• The dishes are looking at me dirty again.
• Sorry for what I said while I was cooking.
• I don’t have a dishwasher, I am the dishwasher.
• Cooking with love provides food for the soul.
• When in doubt, add more garlic.
• The kitchen is the heart of the home.
• Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a kitchen coordinator.
• I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
• If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza.
• I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
• Today’s menu: take it or leave it.
• My kitchen is for dancing and singing along to 80s hits.
• I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
• I don’t always make a mess, but when I do, it’s in the kitchen.
• I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.
• I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
• Cooking is my superpower.
• The kitchen is my happy place.
• My cooking is so fabulous, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a food artist.
• Kitchen closed due to illness: I’m sick of cooking.
• Cooking is love made visible.
• I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
• Cooking is my therapy.
• I’m not bossy, I’m the chef.
• If at first you don’t succeed, order takeout.
• I don’t always know what I’m doing, but I always do it with confidence.
• Cooking is the ultimate expression of love.
• I cook with wine, and sometimes I even add it to the food.
• I don’t measure ingredients, I add them until it feels right.
• Cooking is my happy place.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a miracle worker.
• I have a kitchen because it came with the house.
• Food is my love language.
• The kitchen is my sanctuary.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• The secret ingredient is always cheese.
• I’m not a messy cook, I’m a creative cook.
• I don’t need a recipe, I’m a chef.
• I don’t always cook, but when I do, I make a masterpiece.
• A little bit of wine makes everything fine.
• I’m not a great cook, I’m a great re-heater.
• Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.
• I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
• My kitchen is for dancing and singing along to 80s hits.
• I kiss better than I cook, but let’s pretend.
• I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a magician with a microwave.
• I have a degree in microwave cooking.
• I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
• I only have a kitchen because it’s too hard to eat out every day.
• I cook with love and a little bit of sarcasm.
• The kitchen is closed because I’m drinking wine.
• The only thing I can make for dinner is reservations.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right about how to cook this dish.
• I don’t always cook, but when I do, I make sure to use every dish in the kitchen.
• If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza.
• I have a relationship with my stove, it’s on and off.
• I cook with one hand and sip wine with the other.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a foodie with attitude.
• I’m not saying I’m a good cook, but I’m not afraid to try.
• I only cook to impress my pets.
• Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.
• I have a kitchen because it’s a legal requirement.
• I’m not a chef, I’m an artist with a spatula.
• I’m not saying I’m a kitchen diva, but I am the boss of the sauce.
• Cooking is my therapy, eating is my reward.
• I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination, especially when it comes to cooking.
• Cooking is like a science experiment, but with food.
• The kitchen is my happy place, especially when there’s wine involved.
• I don’t always cook, but when I do, I make sure to use my fancy apron.
• I cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.
• I’m not a chef, I’m a flavor architect.
• I’m not a messy cook, I’m just creating organized chaos.
• Cooking is a language through which we can express our love.
• I’m not a chef, but my kitchen is my playground.
• I don’t measure my ingredients, I just pour until it feels right.
• Cooking is the ultimate show of love and affection.
• I don’t always know what I’m doing in the kitchen, but I always know what I want to eat.
• Cooking is like a dance, you have to follow your instincts and let the music guide you.
• I’m not a chef, but I play one in my kitchen.
• I’m not saying I’m a gourmet cook, but I do make a mean grilled cheese.
• The only thing better than the smell of freshly baked bread is the taste.
• Cooking is not a science, it’s an art.
• I’m not a perfectionist, I’m just passionate about my cooking.
• I cook with love, and a pinch of sarcasm.
• Cooking is my love language.
• I’m not a chef, I just play one in my kitchen.
• Cooking is my happy place, especially when there’s chocolate involved.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right

Funny Dish Towel Sayings part 2