Funny College Quotes

I might have a degree, but my student loan debt is the real proof of my intelligence.

College: where 8 a.m. is considered the crack of dawn.

Finals week: making procrastination a legitimate skill since forever.

College is the only place where it’s acceptable to wear pajamas everywhere except your bedroom.

I always keep my expectations low during exams, that way I’m never disappointed.

They say college is the best time of your life, but they clearly never had to write a 20-page research paper.

Dear professor, can we have class outside? Sincerely, students who can’t pay attention indoors.

The biggest challenge in college is trying to resist the urge to take a nap in every class.

College is like a rollercoaster: one minute you’re excited, the next you’re screaming for it to end.

College: where ‘I’ll just take a quick nap’ turns into a six-hour sleep marathon.

The only thing harder than getting into college is getting out of bed for an 8 a.m. class.

I may not know what I’m doing with my life, but at least I’ll have a fancy piece of paper to prove it.

College is the only place where you can gain 15 pounds and pay thousands of dollars for it.

College taught me that there’s no better motivation to get your life together than a looming deadline.

College: where every major sounds impressive until you realize you’ll be unemployed after graduation.

I went to college to find myself, but ended up losing my sanity instead.

Nothing says ‘college’ like eating pizza at 2 a.m. while crying over a textbook.

I’ve spent more money on coffee in college than I have on textbooks.

College is just a series of bad decisions followed by all-nighters.

Taking out a student loan is like playing a really expensive game of ‘let’s hope I get a good job.’

College: where your degree is as valuable as your ability to find free food on campus.

College is a non-stop cycle of studying, caffeine, and repeat.

I have a degree in procrastination, but I haven’t gotten around to printing it yet.

College is the place where you go to further your education and come out with a caffeine addiction.

College is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, except all the options end in debt.

I may be failing all my classes, but at least I’ve mastered the art of making ramen noodles.

College taught me that sleep is a luxury, and FOMO is a way of life.

I thought college would be like ‘Animal House,’ but it’s more like ‘The Shawshank Redemption.’

College: where your GPA stands for ‘Go Pour Another’ drink.

College is the only place where you can go broke buying textbooks you’ll never read.

I’ll graduate with a degree in debt and a minor in questionable life choices.

College is just one big game of trying to avoid eye contact with your professor in case they remember you’re failing.

I studied so much in college that now I can sleep with my eyes open.

I didn’t choose college, college chose me…and my bank account regrets it.

In college, ‘group project’ is code for ‘everyone else gets a free ride on your hard work.’

College is a time of self-discovery, unless you’re too busy trying to discover where the nearest bathroom is.

College: where following your dreams turns into following your schedule.

I didn’t choose the college life, the college life chose my sleep schedule.

College: where paying for a parking spot is just as expensive as tuition.

I may be graduating with a degree, but I’m leaving college with a lifetime supply of instant noodles.

College is the only place where #Adulting seems like an unattainable skill.

Every time someone says ‘college will be the best four years of your life,’ I die a little inside.

College is like a never-ending buffet, except all the food gives you anxiety.

I’m not sure what year it is anymore, but I’m pretty sure I have one more semester left…I hope.

College: where the library is the only place where the sound of people crying is considered normal.