I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
Christmas is like a day at the spa, only without the cucumbers on your eyes.
I’m so jolly, I put the ‘ho ho ho’ in ‘holiday season.’
All I want for Christmas is to be on the naughty list.
I’m on Santa’s naughty list because ‘naughty’ is just another word for ‘fun.’
May your Christmas be filled with good food, good drinks, and zero awkward family arguments.
I’m dreaming of a silent night, but my relatives aren’t cooperating.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the clear.
Who needs mistletoe when you’re this good looking?
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people only once a year.
Christmas calories don’t count, right? Asking for a friend.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try to sneak a peek at your presents before Christmas.
I’m like a Christmas present, because Santa ain’t the only one who wants to unwrap me.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the bubbly.
Christmas: the only time of year it’s acceptable to binge-watch movies in your PJs all day.
Forget the mistletoe, I’ll be kissing anyone and everyone this Christmas.
My Christmas wish is that Santa’s abs are as sculpted as his beard.
All I want for Christmas is for someone else to wrap all my presents.
Santa Claus is great and all, but I’d rather have a six-pack of beer.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…to the fridge for more eggnog.
Christmas is the most magical time of the year… for terrible singing and questionable dance moves.
Who needs snow when you have a deep freezer full of ice cream?
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…but let’s be real, I’ll probably just get slush.
Christmas is the only time of year when it’s perfectly acceptable to wear a onesie in public.
May your Christmas be full of joy, love, and an endless supply of candy canes.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, we can always have a snowball fight with mashed potatoes.
Nothing says Christmas like eating your weight in cookies and blaming it on Santa.
Who needs Santa when you have Amazon Prime?
May your Christmas be merry and your credit card debt be manageable.
Santa Claus is coming to town… and he’s carrying a gym membership.
All I want for Christmas is for someone to gift-wrap my life.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll just add more sugar to my eggnog.
Christmas is like a snowflake: magical, but it somehow manages to melt away too quickly.
May your Christmas be as magical as the feeling you get when you find an extra present under the tree.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear… or just blast Mariah Carey on repeat.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll settle for a winter wonderland made of marshmallows.
Christmas: the only time of year when it’s socially acceptable to wear a tacky sweater and call it ‘festive.’
Christmas is the season of giving, so I hope Santa brings me the gift of a higher alcohol tolerance.
May your Christmas be filled with love, laughter, and too many gingerbread cookies to count.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll just paint everything with whipped cream.
The best part about Christmas? The excuse to eat an entire box of chocolates in one sitting.
May your Christmas be filled with joy, laughter, and an endless supply of travel-sized toiletries.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll just fill my house with messy shredded paper.
Christmas is the perfect time to reunite with your relatives and remember why you moved away in the first place.
May your Christmas be filled with love, joy, and a complete lack of awkward family photos.
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