Funny Boss Day Quotes

A boss is like a diaper – always on your ass and full of shit.

If being a smartass was a job, my boss would be the CEO.

My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers. I guess it’s just my natural leadership skills.

A good boss is like a unicorn – no one has ever seen one.

I asked my boss for a raise. He laughed and asked me if I was joking. I wasn’t.

My boss told me I need to improve my work-life balance. I asked him if he’s hiring a personal assistant for me.

I once had a boss who thought micromanaging was a form of cardio.

A boss without a sense of humor is like a pen without ink – useless.

My boss makes me feel like a superhero. Every time I do something amazing, he disappears.

My boss can be summed up in one word: ‘snackcident’ – a combination of snack and accident.

Sometimes I wonder if my boss is secretly a stand-up comedian, because no one laughs at his jokes.

My boss is really good at giving feedback. Unfortunately, it’s always negative.

I asked my boss for some time off. He said, ‘Sure, take the next Leap Year.’

My boss is like the weather – unpredictable and always ruining my plans.

My boss told me to dress for the job I want, so I came dressed as his boss.

Working under my boss is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle is my paycheck and the haystack is his desk.

My boss once tried to give me a pep talk, but it just turned into a lecture about his golf game.

Funny Boss Day Quotes part 2

My boss is like a crossword puzzle – no matter how hard I try, I never understand his clues.

My boss said I have a ‘can-do’ attitude. I guess that’s why I’m always saying ‘I can’t’ when he asks me to do something.

My boss is like a broken record – always repeating himself, but never making any sense.

I once told my boss I’m a multi-tasker. He said, ‘That’s great, now you can do twice the work in half the time.’

My boss thinks he’s funny, but his jokes are as stale as the coffee in the break room.

My boss refers to himself as a ‘visionary.’ I think he meant ‘delusional.’

I once asked my boss for a day off. He said, ‘Sure, just bring me a doctor’s note from your psychic.’

Working for my boss is like trying to run a marathon in high heels – painful and pointless.

My boss once told me I need to work smarter, not harder. I guess that means I should start finding smarter ways to avoid work.

I asked my boss if he’s ever been accused of being a workaholic. He said, ‘No, but I’ve been accused of being a work-a-holic.’

My boss asked me if I have any innovative ideas. I said, ‘Yes, let’s try actually doing some work.’

My boss’s management style can be summed up in one word: chaos. But that’s a generous description.

My boss thinks he’s the next Steve Jobs. I think he’s just missing an ‘s’ in his last name.

Working for my boss is like being stuck in a never-ending episode of ‘The Office’ – except there’s no humor, just awkwardness.

I once asked my boss for a promotion. He said, ‘Sure, as soon as pigs fly.’ I replied, ‘Great, I’ll book my ticket to the Bahamas.’

My boss said I have a lot of potential. I think he meant to say I have a lot of untapped potential.

My boss once gave a motivational speech that consisted of one word: ‘work.’ Needless to say, we were all inspired.

My boss is like a broken GPS – always leading us in the wrong direction.

I once asked my boss for a day off. He said, ‘Sure, as long as you don’t come back.’

My boss likes to say he’s the captain of our ship. I think he meant to say captain of the sinking ship.

My boss considers himself a mentor. I consider him the reason I need therapy.

Working for my boss is like being trapped in a never-ending episode of ‘Groundhog Day’ – except there’s no Bill Murray to make it funny.

My boss has a classic case of ‘bossy pants’ syndrome – always bossing people around, but never actually doing any work.

I once suggested a team-building activity to my boss. He said, ‘Sure, let’s try vacuuming the office together.’

My boss once told me I need to think outside the box. I replied, ‘But there’s no Wi-Fi outside the box.’

Working under my boss is like trying to organize a drunkard’s closet – chaotic and pointless.

My boss thinks he’s the king of multitasking. I think he just has attention deficit disorder.

My boss told me I need to prioritize my workload. I told him, ‘I already have – I prioritize avoiding work.’