Funny Batman Quotes

I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?

I don’t need superpowers to be a superhero, just a black suit and a lot of money.

I’m like a bat, always hanging out in the dark.

Batman doesn’t need a sidekick, he needs a therapist.

I have a lot of utility belts. It’s my version of a fanny pack.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m definitely a Dark Knight.

I don’t need a cape to fly, just a really fast car.

Why did the Joker join a gym? He wanted to work on his cardio ‘Ha-Ha’s.

I used to have batmobile, but I traded it for a better ride – Uber.

If you think about it, Batman is just a really fancy burglar.

Who needs happiness when you can have a cave full of gadgets?

I may not have superpowers, but I can rock a cape like nobody’s business.

I tried wearing my bat suit to work once. Let’s just say it wasn’t a great idea.

Why did Robin bring an umbrella to Gotham City? In case it rained Batmobiles.

I’m the only person who can pull off a cowl and still look cool.

I put the ‘bat’ in ‘batterang.’

Being Batman means never having to say you’re sorry. Because you’re always right.

I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the days when I could just be Bruce Wayne.

Batman doesn’t need a Super Bowl ring. He’s already Batman.

Funny Batman Quotes part 2

Why did Batman go to music school? Because he wanted to learn how to beat-box.

Why did Batman go broke? Someone stole his bat-credit card.

I once tried to scare my enemies by telling them I was Batman. They just laughed.

I’ve fought a lot of villains in my time, but I still can’t figure out how to change a tire.

I’m not saying I’m the hero Gotham deserves, but I am definitely the hero Gotham needs.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had never met Alfred. Probably a lot easier.

Why did Batman study abroad? He wanted to learn how to do a French batarang.

Superman wears his underwear on the outside. I prefer mine hidden under a cape.

I’m not saying Batman is the greatest superhero of all time, but have you ever seen him dance?

To defeat your enemies, you must become the night. Or just order pizza. Pizza usually works too.

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. I wear mine on my utility belt.

If I had a dollar for every time someone mistook me for a giant bat, I’d have enough money to buy a giant bat.

Why did Batman go to law school? He wanted to master the bat-objection, your Honor.

I’m not saying I’m paranoid, but I still check under my bed for the Joker every night.

Sometimes I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and stop myself from becoming Batman.

I always carry a batarang in case someone challenges me to a paper airplane contest.

If Batman needs to relax, does he have to take a batnap?

Sometimes I think the Joker is my greatest enemy. Other times, it’s the dry cleaner who shrinks my bat-suit.

I’d tell you my secret identity, but then I’d have to lock you in the Batcave forever.

If I ever retire, I’m going to open a bat-themed restaurant. The bat-wing special will be to die for.

I’m not saying I’m Batman, but I have been known to swoop in and steal the last slice of pizza.

Why did Batman start drinking coffee? He wanted to be known as the Dark Roast Knight.

I once tried to patent a bat dance. Unfortunately, it was already taken by a singer.

You know you’re famous when even the criminals call you ‘Bat-man’ instead of just ‘man’.

If you want a successful crime-fighting career, just remember three things: black suit, cool car, and an English butler.

I’m not saying I’m a bat whisperer, but I have been known to hold conversations with them. They’re really good listeners.