That’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.
I’m busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
I’m so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.
He’s so cheap, he wouldn’t give you the sweat off his brow if you were dying of thirst.
She’s as sharp as a bowling ball.
He’s as handy as a pocket on a shirt.
That party was a real knee-slapper.
He’s as strong as an ox and just as smart.
I’m sweating like a pig.
She’s so two-faced, she needs two mailboxes.
He’s as slow as molasses in January.
I’m so tired I could sleep for a week.
That joke was so corny it could feed a farm.
He’s as nutty as a fruitcake.
She’s as plain as a pikestaff.
I’m going to work like there’s a fire in my britches.
He’s as graceful as a bull in a china shop.
She’s cooking with gas.
He’s wet behind the ears.
I’m going to beat the pants off you.
He’s as American as apple pie.
She’s as cute as a button.
He’s as happy as a clam.
She’s as pretty as a picture.
I’m busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
He’s got a screw loose.
She’s sharp as a tack.
He’s sharper than a knife.
I’m as thrilled as a kid in a candy store.
She’s as cool as a cucumber.
He’s as stubborn as a mule.
She’s as sweet as sugar.
He’s as smooth as silk.
I’m as fidgety as a cat on a hot tin roof.
She’s as quiet as a mouse.
He’s as cool as the other side of the pillow.
She’s as busy as a bee.
I’m as happy as a clam at high tide.
He’s as dumb as a rock.
She’s as bright as a button.
He’s as strong as an ox.
She’s as smart as a whip.
He’s as busy as a beaver.
I’m as happy as a lark.
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