Funny American Sayings

That’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.

I’m busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

I’m so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

He’s so cheap, he wouldn’t give you the sweat off his brow if you were dying of thirst.

She’s as sharp as a bowling ball.

He’s as handy as a pocket on a shirt.

That party was a real knee-slapper.

He’s as strong as an ox and just as smart.

I’m sweating like a pig.

She’s so two-faced, she needs two mailboxes.

He’s as slow as molasses in January.

I’m so tired I could sleep for a week.

That joke was so corny it could feed a farm.

He’s as nutty as a fruitcake.

She’s as plain as a pikestaff.

I’m going to work like there’s a fire in my britches.

He’s as graceful as a bull in a china shop.

She’s cooking with gas.

He’s wet behind the ears.

I’m going to beat the pants off you.

He’s as American as apple pie.

She’s as cute as a button.

He’s as happy as a clam.

She’s as pretty as a picture.

I’m busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

He’s got a screw loose.

She’s sharp as a tack.

He’s sharper than a knife.

I’m as thrilled as a kid in a candy store.

Funny American Sayings part 2

She’s as cool as a cucumber.

He’s as stubborn as a mule.

She’s as sweet as sugar.

He’s as smooth as silk.

I’m as fidgety as a cat on a hot tin roof.

She’s as quiet as a mouse.

He’s as cool as the other side of the pillow.

She’s as busy as a bee.

I’m as happy as a clam at high tide.

He’s as dumb as a rock.

She’s as bright as a button.

He’s as strong as an ox.

She’s as smart as a whip.

He’s as busy as a beaver.

I’m as happy as a lark.