I told my therapist about my dark humor; now he carries a flashlight.
Life is like a coffin, you never know who’s inside until you open it.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think it’s just an overdose of irony.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch; I call it ‘lunch.’
You can’t be depressed when you have a sense of humor, but I’m working on it.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Dark humor: because a little laughter makes the shadows less daunting.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional, especially if you have a dark sense of humor.
I’d make a joke about the dead, but it would fall flat.
My therapist said I should focus on the positives; I replied, ‘At least I’m not six feet under.’
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how much I don’t careâexcept for mimes; they’re silent.
I finally found the meaning of life. It’s just a series of unfortunate events.
Embracing the Unexpected – A Collection of Dark Humor Quotes part 2
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I call my dark humor ‘glow-in-the-dark’; it shines best in the shadows.
I’d ask you to be my friend, but then I’d have to share my dark jokes.
Everyone wants to be happy until they find out the punchline is tragic.
My life is like a dark comedyâeither you laugh, or you cry in disbelief.
They say laughter is contagious; I guess that explains why I’m the only one at funerals.
Why so serious? Because I read the news.
Chasing my dreams was easy; I just never caught them and ended up in a nightmare.
My enthusiasm for dark humor is just shadowboxing with my feelings.
If we weren’t meant to laugh at the absurd, there wouldn’t be memes about it.
Why do graveyards have fences? Because people are dying to get in.
I embrace my dark humor like my shadow embraces meâalways lurking.
I wish I could be a unicorn, but let’s face it; I’m a three-legged dog sprinting toward a traffic cone.
They say laughter is the shortest distance between two people; guess who just got run over?
I wanted to be an optimist⦠until reality showed me the punchline.
Sometimes, the best part of being an adult is being able to laugh at the chaos.
I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek team, but it’s hard to win when the dark humor keeps hiding from me.
I thought I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sureâlike choosing between puns and satire.
Why do they bury people with a stake? In case they get cold feet.
My hobbies include thinking up dark jokes and making awkward eye contact.
They say laughter is a tragedy plus time; I guess I’m just still in the waiting room.
Who needs therapy when I have a dark sense of humor to cope?
I laugh at my problems; it’s much more fun than crying.
Why don’t relationships ever die? Because they get buried under bad communication.
My soul is a canvas painted with shades of dark humor.
I sell my dark humor to the highest bidder, but it’s mostly free samples.
When the going gets tough, I start making dark jokes and wait for the universe to react.
I came to the realization that my life is a never-ending dark comedy series.
Why be sad when you can laugh at the unavoidable?
In a world full of tragedy, I choose to laugh like it’s my last joke.
I wanted to be a comedian, but life kept throwing punchlines at me.
The best part of dying is the chance to finally become a punchline.
I’m writing a book on reverse psychology; don’t buy it!
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