Dumb and Dumber Quotes

Harry, I took care of it. I trimmed the hedges! – Lloyd Christmas

You know what’s good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butt hole. – Harry Dunne

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself! – Lloyd Christmas

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy. – Lloyd Christmas

Nice set of hooters you got there! – Harry Dunne

Our pets’ heads are falling off! – Lloyd Christmas

I’m talking about a little place called Aspen. – Lloyd Christmas

Harry, your hands are freezing! – Lloyd Christmas

Tell her I’m rich, and I’m good looking, and I have, uh, a rapist’s wit. – Lloyd Christmas

I’ll tell ya, that John Denver’s full of shit! – Lloyd Christmas

We’re the most pathetic, dumbest losers who ever lived. – Harry Dunne

According to the map, we’ve only gone about 4 inches. – Lloyd Christmas

We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off! – Harry Dunne

Harry, I dropped the screw in the tuna! – Lloyd Christmas

You mean like, ‘uh…Harry…I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this…yeah, that John Denver’s full of shit!’ – Lloyd Christmas

You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself! – Harry Dunne

I desperately want to make love to you. – Lloyd Christmas

We’ve got no money, no jobs, no prospects. The only thing we have to offer the ladies is this list of hilarious quotes from our favorite movie!” – Harry Dunne

This is your chance to do something meaningful, to prove that you’re not just a couple of idiots. – Lloyd Christmas

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!” – Lloyd Christmas

So you’re telling me there’s a chance. – Lloyd Christmas

I’m talking about a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. – Lloyd Christmas

That John Denver is full of shit, man. – Lloyd Christmas

I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t kill me. – Harry Dunne

I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together? – Harry Dunne

Nice set of hooters you got there! – Lloyd Christmas

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself! – Lloyd Christmas

Harry, I took care of it. I trimmed the hedges! – Lloyd Christmas

You might want to hold on to that one. She’s got a few miles on her. – Harry Dunne

According to the map, we’ve only gone about 4 inches. – Lloyd Christmas

We’ve got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off! – Harry Dunne

What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town! – Lloyd Christmas

You know what? I watched a lot of nature documentaries on PBS, and I noticed that turkeys can’t fly. – Lloyd Christmas

I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip. – Harry Dunne

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.” – Lloyd Christmas

This is our chance to do something meaningful, to prove that we’re not just a bunch of idiots. – Lloyd Christmas

Harry, your hands are freezing! – Lloyd Christmas

I’ll tell ya, that John Denver’s full of shit! – Lloyd Christmas

Tell her I’m rich and I’m good looking and I have…uh… a rapist’s wit. – Lloyd Christmas

What’s higher than a hair flip, Lloyd? A forehead flick!” – Harry Dunne

How much did you pay for that? – Lloyd Christmas

We got no food, no jobs… our pets’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! – Harry Dunne

What if he shot ya in the face? – Harry Dunne

Money… you know, money can’t buy happiness, but…uh, it can buy you a…a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside happiness. – Lloyd Christmas

Harry! Your hands are freezing! – Lloyd Christmas