Dad sayings

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I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.

Money doesn’t grow on trees.

I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.

Do I look like a walking dictionary?

Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

A watched pot never boils.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I am right.

If you’re not early, you’re late.

I’m not grumpy, I’m just embracing my inner bear.

Speaking of nothing, let’s talk about something.

Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.

I’m not bald, I just have a solar panel for a sex machine.

If you’re going to do something, do it right the first time.

I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my day.

Don’t cry over spilled milk.

I’m not stubborn, I just know I’m right.

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

I’m not lost, I’m exploring alternative routes.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

I’m not yelling, I’m just projecting my voice.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking in cursive.

Don’t worry, be happy.

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing tasks.

If you want something done, do it yourself.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

I’m not bad at directions, I’m just easily distracted.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

I’m not rude, I’m just honest.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

I’m not bored, I’m just practicing my patience.

If you’re going to do something, do it with style.

I’m not messy, I’m just creatively disorganized.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.