Bumper Sticker Sayings

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  • I brake for animals, not idiots.
  • My other car is a broomstick.
  • I’d rather be reading a book.
  • In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.
  • I’d rather be fishing.
  • Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.
  • If you can read this, you’re too close.
  • I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying.
  • Keep honking, I’m reloading.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  • Life is short, make it sweet.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Save the planet, it’s the only one with chocolate.
  • Born to be wild, forced to work.
  • If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.
  • It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.
  • If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.
  • Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
  • I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting.
  • I may be slow, but I’m ahead of you.
  • The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
  • I’d rather be sleeping.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
  • I brake for yard sales.
  • Bad decisions make great stories.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.
  • I’m not procrastinating, I’m strategically delaying.
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
  • Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car.
  • Life is too short to drive boring cars.
  • I still play with toys, they’re just more expensive now.
  • I brake for unicorns.
  • I’m not driving fast, I’m just flying low.
  • I’m not following you, I’m just going the same way.
  • If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
  • Don’t believe everything you think.
  • I’m not lost, I’m exploring.
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m a noon person.
  • My karma ran over your dogma.
  • I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social.
  • I’d rather be hiking
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet
  • I brake for yard sales
  • In dog years, I’m dead
  • Coexist
  • My other car is a broomstick
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right
  • If you’re going to ride my tail, at least pull my hair
  • Sorry for driving so close in front of you
  • Keep honking, I’m reloading
  • Buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to abduct you
  • If you can read this, you’re too close
  • If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalk
  • I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying
  • Life is too short for traffic
  • I’d rather be at the beach
  • Watch out for the idiot behind me
  • Don’t follow me, I’m lost too
  • My other ride is a unicorn
  • I’d rather be camping
  • Horn broken, watch for finger
  • I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy
  • This is not a bumper sticker, it’s a cry for help
  • I’m not a morning person
  • I’d rather be golfing
  • Don’t honk, I’m pedaling as fast as I can
  • I’m not lost, I’m exploring
  • I’d rather be fishing
  • I’d rather be skiing
  • I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying for NASCAR
  • I brake for garage sales
  • My other car is a bike
  • If you’re going to ride my tail, at least buy me dinner first
  • My karma ran over your dogma
  • I’d rather be reading
  • Visualize whirled peas
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person
  • Powered by tofu
  • I’d rather be napping
  • I’m not a tourist, I live here
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right, slowly and loudly
  • I’d rather be sailing
  • My other car is a skateboard
  • I’d rather be writing
  • This car is fueled by sarcasm
  • My other car is a Porsche, but I’m driving this one to save the planet
  • I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting for better fuel efficiency
  • In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned
  • I’d rather be gardening
  • I’m not lost, I’m taking the scenic route
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m a breakfast person
  • I brake for unicorns
  • I’d rather be snowboarding
  • Don’t drink and drive, you might spill your drink
  • I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV
  • My other car is a horse
  • I’d rather be painting
  • I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting for the NASCAR tryouts
  • This car is fueled by coffee and sarcasm

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