- I brake for animals, not idiots.
- My other car is a broomstick.
- I’d rather be reading a book.
- In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.
- I’d rather be fishing.
- Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.
- If you can read this, you’re too close.
- I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying.
- Keep honking, I’m reloading.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
- Life is short, make it sweet.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Save the planet, it’s the only one with chocolate.
- Born to be wild, forced to work.
- If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.
- It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.
- If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.
- Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
- I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting.
- I may be slow, but I’m ahead of you.
- The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
- I’d rather be sleeping.
- If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- I brake for yard sales.
- Bad decisions make great stories.
- I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.
- I’m not procrastinating, I’m strategically delaying.
- I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
- Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car.
- Life is too short to drive boring cars.
- I still play with toys, they’re just more expensive now.
- I brake for unicorns.
- I’m not driving fast, I’m just flying low.
- I’m not following you, I’m just going the same way.
- If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
- Don’t believe everything you think.
- I’m not lost, I’m exploring.
- I’m not a morning person, I’m a noon person.
- My karma ran over your dogma.
- I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social.
- I’d rather be hiking
- Honk if you love peace and quiet
- I brake for yard sales
- In dog years, I’m dead
- Coexist
- My other car is a broomstick
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right
- If you’re going to ride my tail, at least pull my hair
- Sorry for driving so close in front of you
- Keep honking, I’m reloading
- Buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to abduct you
- If you can read this, you’re too close
- If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalk
- I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying
- Life is too short for traffic
- I’d rather be at the beach
- Watch out for the idiot behind me
- Don’t follow me, I’m lost too
- My other ride is a unicorn
- I’d rather be camping
- Horn broken, watch for finger
- I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting
- I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy
- This is not a bumper sticker, it’s a cry for help
- I’m not a morning person
- I’d rather be golfing
- Don’t honk, I’m pedaling as fast as I can
- I’m not lost, I’m exploring
- I’d rather be fishing
- I’d rather be skiing
- I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying for NASCAR
- I brake for garage sales
- My other car is a bike
- If you’re going to ride my tail, at least buy me dinner first
- My karma ran over your dogma
- I’d rather be reading
- Visualize whirled peas
- I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person
- Powered by tofu
- I’d rather be napping
- I’m not a tourist, I live here
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right, slowly and loudly
- I’d rather be sailing
- My other car is a skateboard
- I’d rather be writing
- This car is fueled by sarcasm
- My other car is a Porsche, but I’m driving this one to save the planet
- I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting for better fuel efficiency
- In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned
- I’d rather be gardening
- I’m not lost, I’m taking the scenic route
- I’m not a morning person, I’m a breakfast person
- I brake for unicorns
- I’d rather be snowboarding
- Don’t drink and drive, you might spill your drink
- I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV
- My other car is a horse
- I’d rather be painting
- I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting for the NASCAR tryouts
- This car is fueled by coffee and sarcasm
Bumper Sticker Sayings


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