Bill Hicks Quotes

The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough.

I’m tired of this back-slappin’ ‘isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant.

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.

I’ve never seen a wild thing feel sorry for itself.

The next revolution starts when you say ‘Fuck it’.

I don’t do drugs, I am drugs.

See, I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your CDs and burn them. ‘Cause you know what? The musicians that made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years were rrreal fucking high on drugs.

Bill Hicks Quotes part 2

How about a positive LSD story? ‘Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There’s no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we’re the imagination of ourselves… Here’s Tom with the weather!’

If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear, then you are! And you should know that!

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. ‘I believe God created me in one day’ Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

There’s a handful of people killing us – it’s not natives, not blacks, it’s not even white people, it’s a handful of sick, twisted, white-collar criminals.

Watching the news the other day, I had to turn it off. I can’t watch this anymore. You’re being lied to. You’re being lied to by the government, you’re being lied to by the media.

We are the imagination of ourself – what it could be is what it is!

I’ll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here: ‘I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.’ ‘I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.’ ‘Hey, wait a minute, there’s one guy holding out both puppets!’ ‘Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s love connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons.’

I hope no one ever catches you sitting alone in a darkened room, masturbating to the Sears catalog. That’s some weird shit, boy.

We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums.

It’s not that I disagree with it; it’s that I have absolutely no interest in it.

If you ever want to get out of a ticket, ask the officer if he’s ever watched porn starring his own mother.

I always wanted a reason to say ‘Do you know who I am?’

Here is my final point: Suppose you’re an idiot, and suppose you’re a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

And you know what really made me mad? They got a little sign on the highway that said, ‘Fines double in work zones.’ You know what I want to say? ‘Really!? I’d slow down if you doubled the fucking fines!’ Fine, that’s alright, but what’s ’em workin’ on? I don’t see any construction goin’ on.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit… unnatural?

See, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all of your albums, all of your tapes, and all of your CDs and burn them. ‘Cause you know what? The musicians who have made all that great music that has enhanced your lives throughout the years? Real fucking high on drugs.

If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CDs and burn them. Because you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that has enhanced your lives throughout the years? Real fucking high on drugs.

The greatest gift you can give people is your honesty.

Wouldn’t you like to see a positive LSD story on the news to base your decision on? Oh no, don’t worry, be happy. Burn that fucker down. The one behind me, shoot it.

Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us? The church, the state, everything’s failing us, the leaders, outside remedial help from them. It’s not coming. You know where change is going to come from? From you.

Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again.

Wouldn’t you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition? Perhaps? Wouldn’t that be interesting? Just for once?

It’s not a war on drugs, it’s a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times, thank you.

LSD unlocks areas of the mind that remain dormant when no using it.

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

Wouldn’t you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition? Perhaps? Wouldn’t that be interesting? Just for once?

Not all drugs are good. Some of them are great.

Here’s the deal, folks: You do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll call forever. End of story. Okay? You’re another corporate fucking shill, you’re another whore at the capitalist gang-bang.

It’s just a ride and we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort. No work. No job. No savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.

So, JFK was assassinated for wanting to get rid of the Federal Reserved. Ah, what a shame. Note: The given quotes are from Bill Hicks and may not necessarily reflect the views or beliefs of the user or OpenAI.