Best Office Quotes

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott.

I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out. – Kelly Kapoor.

I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. – Michael Scott.

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott.

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing. – Michael Scott.

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott.

I am Beyoncé, always. – Michael Scott.

I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. – Kevin Malone.

I saved a life – my own. Am I a hero? I really can’t say, but yes. – Dwight Schrute.

I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. – Jim Halpert.

I’m not a businesswoman. I’m a business, woman. – Kelly Kapoor.

I am fast. To give you a reference point, I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther. – Dwight Schrute.

People say I am the best boss. They go, ‘God we’ve never worked in a place like this before. You’re hilarious! And you get the best out of us.’ I think that pretty much sums it up. I found it at Spencer Gifts. – Michael Scott.

I work hard all day looking at spreadsheets. Powerpoints. Dealing with employees’ ridiculous complaints. Mhm. Mhm. But where are the clients, quote-unquote? You know who hasn’t done a lot? This guy. – Andy Bernard.

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing. – Dwight Schrute.

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday. – Michael Scott.

I don’t care what Jim says. That is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure. – Dwight Schrute.

Sometimes you have to take a break from the reality of what’s going on and just laugh at it. – Angela Martin.

The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends. – Michael Scott.

I am not gay, but I will admit something. When I first meet someone, I do tend to stare at their crotch. – Oscar Martinez.

I am going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball. – Andy Bernard.

I’m a constant disappointment to my parents. – Andy Bernard.

Sometimes you just have to drive your car off a bridge and park it. – Dwight Schrute.

Sometimes the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls. – Angela Martin.

I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you? – Kelly Kapoor.

I am Tina Turner, queen of the Thunderdome. – Michael Scott.

In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all… It’s fear. Merry Christmas. – Dwight Schrute.

I don’t despise them. I just… Oh, I despise them. I despise them! I despise them! – Creed Bratton.

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott.

Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And, uh, well, if this were my career? I’d have to throw myself in front of a train. – Jim Halpert.

I’m sort of an expert at Photoshop. I used to doctor the race results at the Dunder Mifflin fun run so it looked like I came in first. Randy Bernard actually won and $25 was donated in his name, so… it’s a win-win-win. – Creed Bratton.

I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther. – Dwight Schrute.

I love catching people in the act. That’s why I always whip open doors. – Dwight Schrute.

There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? – Pam Beesly.

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. – Kevin Malone.

I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs. – Andy Bernard.

I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good. – Michael Scott.

I’m not a hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else. – Phyllis Vance.

I’m like a superhero, but without the powers or motivation. – Toby Flenderson.

I’m 30 years old. And in terms of things I’ve done for people that make them happy or are positive, or zero. – Ryan Howard.

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. – Kevin Malone.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott.

I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. – Kevin Malone.

I’d rather be at home, studying my Excel. – Angela Martin.

It takes an idiot to do cool things. That’s why it’s always a group effort. – Michael Scott.