Bathroom Sayings Funny

  1. Here I sit, broken-hearted. Tried to poop, but only farted.
  2. No job is finished until the paperwork is done.
  3. I pee on the seat, I aim to please.
  4. Employees must wash hands, but unicorns are exempt.
  5. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.
  6. Don’t forget to flush!
  7. We aim to please, you aim too please.
  8. Bathroom rules: if you lift it up, put it down.
  9. Life is short, so pee quickly.
  10. Please remain seated for the entire performance.
  11. Aiming for the stars, landing in the bowl.
  12. Fart now or forever hold your gas.
  13. To pee or not to pee, that is the question.
  14. Toilet paper: it’s the one thing you never appreciate until you don’t have it.
  15. I’m not lazy, I’m conserving energy.
  16. If you’re reading this, you’re probably sitting down.
  17. Don’t stand so close to me.
  18. If it smells, it’s probably mine.
  19. A good pee takes time, so relax and enjoy the moment.
  20. The walls in here have ears.
  21. I only poop rainbows and butterflies.
  22. Don’t forget to wash your hands, you filthy animal!
  23. Courtesy flush, please.
  24. Please be careful, the seat bites.
  25. Bathroom humor is not for everyone. Only those with a true porcelain sense of humor.
  26. Please do not throw toilet paper in the toilet. Use the trash can instead.
  27. Welcome to our throne room.
  28. We don’t swim in your toilet, so please don’t pee in our pool.
  29. Flush twice, it’s a long way to the kitchen.
  30. The secret to happiness is a good bowel movement.
  31. Bathroom selfie: because some moments need to be captured.
  32. In this bathroom, we aim to please. You aim too, please.
  33. This is where the magic happens.
  34. I’m not a morning person, but I am a morning pooper.
  35. If you can’t stand the smell, stay out of the bathroom.
  36. We don’t judge, we flush.
  37. Toilet humor is a gas.
  38. Don’t forget to wash your hands, it’s the law.
  39. I’m on a cleanse, so it might take a while.
  40. I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.
  41. Keep calm and poop on.
  42. In this bathroom, we aim for success, not perfection.
  43. No toilet paper, no problem. We have leaves outside.
  44. In this bathroom, we take aim and fire.
  45. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  46. Welcome to the quiet zone.
  47. I came, I saw, I peed.
  48. Caution: slippery when wet.
  49. Please don’t disturb, I’m in the middle of something.
  50. If you’re not sitting down, you’re doing it wrong.
  51. The only thing worse than being in the bathroom and realizing there’s no toilet paper is being in the bathroom and realizing someone else used the last of it.
  52. Please don’t make waves.
  53. Don’t forget to flush, or you’ll be in deep sh*t.
  54. This bathroom is a thinking-free zone.
  55. The best ideas come from the bathroom.
  56. This bathroom is where dreams come true (or just flush down the drain).
  57. Bathroom: where I do some of my best thinking.
  58. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
  59. The bathroom is my escape from reality.
  60. This bathroom is not for the faint of heart.
  61. Warning: bathroom ahead.
  62. Bathroom humor is always in season.
  63. Go ahead, make my bowel movement.
  64. Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean. Your aim will help.
  65. I didn’t choose the bathroom life, the bathroom life chose me.
  66. In this bathroom, we stand in solidarity with toilet paper hoarders everywhere.
  67. If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the bathroom.
  68. We don’t need a plumber, we have duct tape.
  69. No, you can’t borrow our plunger.
  70. We’re flushing away yesterday’s mistakes.
  71. Bathroom rules: flush twice if it’s a big job.
  72. If at first you don’t succeed, flush, flush again.
  73. This is where the real work gets done.
  74. In this bathroom, we’re all about sharing the love.
  75. Please do not flush anything other than toilet paper.
  76. This is where I take my throne.
  77. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. A moment on the toilet, priceless.
  78. Bathroom selfies: the only time it’s socially acceptable to take a photo of yourself on the toilet.
  79. Caution: slippery when wet, and gross.
  80. If you’re going to be a turd, go lay in the yard.
  81. It’s all about the squatty potty.
  82. We’re all just a bunch of bathroom buddies.
  83. This bathroom is where I let my hair down.
  84. If you don’t want to smell it, don’t do it.
  85. In this bathroom, we aim to please, and please to aim.
  86. Bathroom humor: because life is too short to be serious all the time.
  87. Please do not throw cigarette butts in the toilet. It makes them soggy and hard to light.
  88. The toilet is my throne, and I am its king.
  89. Keep calm and carry on pooping.
  90. The bathroom: where the magic happens.
  91. This bathroom is a no-judgment zone.
  92. We don’t tolerate any crap in this bathroom.
  93. In this bathroom, we don’t care who you are, as long as you’re not a mess.
  94. We’re all in this bathroom together.
  95. We’re not judging your bathroom habits, but we do judge your aim.
  96. Please do not feed the toilet.
  97. This bathroom is our happy place.
  98. To pee or not to pee? That is the question.
  99. The bathroom is where I come to clear my mind.
  100. Life is too short to not enjoy your time in the bathroom.

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