Ace Ventura Quotes – A Collection of the funniest lines from the iconic detective

Like a glove!

Alrighty then!

Lo-ho-hoo-zer!

Bumblebee Tuna!

Excuse me, the balls are over there!

If I’m not back in five minutes…wait longer!

Allllrighty then!

Do not go in there!

Can you feel that? Huh? Huh? Huh?

I’m ready to go in, Coach. Just give me a chance.

What do you think I’m doing? Keeping him warm?

Your balls are showing.

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Spank you very much.

Most likely he’s taking on the whole empire by himself.

Speak into the microphone, squid brain!

Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle!

Ace Ventura, pet detective. How can I help you out?

My intuition has never failed me, and in this case, it’s telling me something stinks.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!

Your gun is digging into my hip.

I’m not ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you.

That was completely unnecessary, but thank you.

When nature calls, you’ve got to answer.

Do not go in there!

It’s in the bone!

Hey, more building pressure in the pants cannon, huh, guys?

Alrighty then!

I’ll call you tonight. That’s a promise. But close your curtains. I’m a little shy.

I’m warning you, Ventura. If one hair on that dolphin is harmed, I’ll deliver a furious vengeance!

Ace Ventura Quotes – A Collection of the funniest lines from the iconic detective part 2

Can I ask you a personal question? Do you have a lot of motor control issues?

You know, I’m a little uncomfortable with this whole ‘pet detective’ thing.

Alrighty then!

Don’t worry about me, I’m a professional. Professional what, I’m not sure, but I know I am one.

If you’re gonna spew, spew into this.

Alrighty then!

Human exile is no longer an option.

I’m especially good at the pelvic thrust.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Do not pass go; do not collect $200.

Did you have an appointment?

I hate it when I’m right.

Do you want me to be someone else?

Laces out, Dan!